Questions?
We hope you enjoyed our Instagram live Q&A earlier this week!
It was our first time going live, so we are still figuring it all out. I know there were a few of you that had hoped we would keep it on our account so you could watch it later, but we didn’t manage to figure that one out in time! Next time we’ll be sure to keep the video in our highlights for you. In the meantime, scroll on down to the bottom of the page and ask us anything. We’ll either post an answer below, or we’ll do another live in the next few weeks.
For those of you that missed it, I’ve tried to write some answers to a few of the questions that came in. I hope they’re helpful to you.
Q: Do you think there are any good things coming out of lockdown in terms of relationship to food?
A: Finding the good in this situation is a great thing to do! Being at home with a little more time might give you more time to cook, giving you a chance to be a little more adventurous with things you wouldn’t otherwise try. I normally put very little time into cooking, relying on toast and muesli bars and instant coffee, and now I’ve found myself engaging in baking and cooking with my bubble buddies.
Q: What do I do if I’m struggling with loss of appetite and anxiety around food during chronic stress and illness?
A: I think it comes down to trial and error, especially in a time with additional stress/anxiety/nerves, a loss of appetite/increase of appetite is fairly common. This can be really tricky because there is often significant overlap between the way that stress and anxiety is experienced, and the signs of hunger. This contributes to complicated eating, because sometimes people interpret subtle hunger cues as anxiety, and some interpret subtle anxiety as hunger. It can be helpful to be intentional about planning meals into your day. I’m not a fan of meal plans or diets because I think they make it harder for us to listen to our bodies, focusing on external factors (meal plans etc.) rather than internal factors (hunger cues) but in this instance, it can help you to meet your body’s needs.
Q: How do I deal with the guilt of overeating and not moving?
A: In times of anxiety and stress, it’s really normal for eating to feel really different than it usually does. It’s important to show compassion to yourself, and acknowledge that you are not ‘failing’ or ‘out of control’. It can be helpful to check in with yourself because sometimes we eat as a solution to strong emotions, or to try and meet our needs that otherwise are not being met.
How are you feeling physically?
How are you feeling emotionally?
What do you need to take care of yourself?
Sometimes, overeating can actually be caused by not eating enough. Whether it’s stress or a diet, when we don’t eat enough are bodies aren’t gettingwhat they want and need. Overeating is not an issue of self-control at all. Our bodies are doing their very best to keep us fed and energised, by sending us stronger hunger cues and cravings, which become increasingly hard to ignore. When we’re hungry, our bodies will often crave simple carbohydrates and sugars (i.e. white bread, cakes, lollies, chocolate) because it needs a hit of energy. However, we tend to equate this very normal and very biological experience to personal failure or a lack of willpower.
It’s easier said than done, but take guilt out of the equation where possible. Life feels so different and hard right now, and what we need in this time is a of gentle acceptance of our emotions and an awareness of where we’re at and what we need. Creating high expectations that we must meet just perpetuates the guilt, and makes it harder to get out and move.
Q: In my circle of friends food is often spoken about either good or bad. Like I’m trying to ‘be good’ or ‘I’ve been really bad’ this week. Even though i know this isn’t good for me, I still find myself participating in these types of conversations. How can I shift my mindset so that I no longer place this moral judgement on food?
A: Oh man, it’s so tricky to extricate yourselves from those conversations, because they happen a lot. I think we’ve all been taught to assign moral judgment to food, Celery is ‘good’, chocolate is ‘bad’ - and these judgments inform how we feel about ourselves when we eat those foods, and encourages us to always make ‘good choices’. While I’m certainly not saying we should disregard nutritional information, but I am suggesting that we take away any language that makes us think that our worth is inherently tied to our food choices, because that’s a really slippery slope and it makes our relationship with food & body quite a bit more complicated. Where you can, try to remind yourself that you don’t need to eat particular foods to be good, and acknowledge that a healthy relationship with food is so much more nourishing and healthy than any ‘diet’ may be. It can be helpful to encourage your friends/loved ones/colleagues to do the same!
Q: How do I walk alongside someone who is struggling with disordered eating?
A: We think that supporting a loved one who is struggling with disordered eating comes down to three things: Patience, Compassion, and boundaries!
Patience: It’s important to remember that things won’t change overnight, and moving away from disordered eating can feel slow and arduous over time. Whether you’re struggling with it yourself, or supporting someone who is, you have to set reasonable expectations, and acknowledge that you’re in it for a while - and I think its important to start as you intend to continue, and be patient as you go.
Compassion: dealing with DE Is not linear. Be consistent, persistent, and show compassion to yourself and your loved ones. It’s important to give your loved ones space to talk about what’s going on for them and remind them that you’re always around to listen. That said, it’s important to be aware of compassion fatigue. (see more here). You don’t want to get burned out or absorb the difficulties that they’re experiencing with food and body at the detriment of your own.
Boundaries: As we said above, when you’re supporting someone else it’s important to keep an eye on your own emotions and behaviours so that you know when it’s time to take a step back or adjust your approach so that your own thoughts and behaviour around food & body aren’t affected. It can be frustrating to listen to a loved one/colleague/friend continually talk about disordered eating, and while it’s important to show patience and compassion, it’s also really important that you don’t let yourself get hurt by your involvement in the process.